Dear universe:

I have finally succumbed to the realization that I do not understand how your absurd pieces come together, and it is more than exhilarating. I stand corrected. I really had no idea.

Love, (love?)

Playground in front, and I am swinging between glitches of sunlight, feeding off the smiling corners of my sister's mouth -- mid-March Orchard Beach -- when she approached me, her eyes fixed -- inevitable eyes -- Do you remember me, from yesterday?

No, I didn't; she said her name and I recalled the concept of her, ashamed; merged with the inevitable eyes she became clear, adolescent, ageless. Her eyes played, gazed fixed still. YES Do you have time to chat? Let's walk and talk.

That question? What was the answer to my question; my mom had to pick me up early, yesterday, at the shelter; Remember? Oh right, yes... What was your question? Do you get pregnant if you have unprotected sex? Yes, I said. And again I said, Yes; and realized that wasn't the question she was asking at all. Yes, the chances, repeated intercourse, protection, probability; I rambled. My older sister she's 18 she's having sex I tried to tell her about the workshop but she says she already knows what sex is, and how. I convinced, persuaded. She was worried, inevitable, inevitable eyes - What else? Oh nothing. Nothing. Did you like the workshop? Yes. What else would you like to talk about -- you can tell me, really! Oh nothing. Want to meet my sister?

I like your eyes, she said. Thank you. Yours are pretty too. My sister's are blue; we look different. Are you in high school, she asks. Medical school; I get that all the time. You look like you're 18.

Introductions, smiles. She walks away. I felt like I should have let her go, but now I know I was wrong. More walking and talking and asking the same question over and over again and finally the "Okay" -- I wish that were the true story. She was with her sister as we were leaving -- Do you guys want to chat? (Spanish simmers over -- Come on! she says) I don't want to talk, I want to play, says the other young lady. They smile and start to run.